Following a week of unprecedented political and financial uncertainty The Big Lemon has today announced its decision to stand for Prime Minister.
Announcing the decision, The Big Lemon said
This is a very confusing time in the depot. Last week we were told we were going to take back control, the repair workshop was going to get a funding boost of £350m a week, and Project Fear was a big conspiracy. This week it turns out that things are spinning out of control, the workshop isn’t going to get £350m a week, and Project Fear was actually Project Understatement.
Now the bus driver has left, the conductor disappeared, and the passengers are left in limbo not sure whether they’re going forwards or backwards, right or far-right. Meanwhile the applicant who showed the most interest in the driving position changed his mind at the last minute.
It is time for us to choose a new driver. Do we want a driver to drive back to the depot, close the gates and lock up? Or do we want a driver to drive out into the world, to serve our communities near and far, and spread happiness and kindness wherever they go?
Key manifesto pledges are:
- Freedom of movement for everyone
- A friendly and helpful driver
- Free hugs for all passengers